Saint John

It is not easy. It’s hard. But every man will experience it. A woman will break your heart. You’ll be alone in the dead of the night, listening to two sad songs on loop. Alternating between grief & anger. Some men will overcome it, some will carry the scar for life.

There are three primary stages to a man’s heartbreak. In the denial, ego blinds the man to his changed circumstances. The man says: “it’s not over, she just needs some time alone”. “She is just going through her normal emotions. She’ll be back”. Suddenly, its three weeks.

In the desperation phase, a man starts by panicking. Spamming the woman’s phone with messages, and unwarranted visits. He wants her back and will do the dumbest of things to prove it. When this fails, and he can’t win her back, feral anger engulfs him. He gets reckless…

In his desperation – prompted by anger at the rejection (torn ego) & grief from the sting of loss (unprocessed emotion) – he seeks an escape. It is here that the man turns to drink,& rebounds. Most men who spend half their days talking about & pursuing women are stuck here.

They are trying to re-live a past they’ll never reclaim. Have refused to face themselves, and wither away in the sea of meaningless sex. Desperation is a blind spot. So they pick women with similar trauma. Then when it doesn’t work out – as it never does – they fault the partner.

The third & last stage is the acceptance stage – and few men get here. Here a man intentionally accepts that the woman is gone & shifts that energy to a more constructive pursuit a.k.a purpose. Anger fades away with time as he realizes more growth & attracts better partners.

Such men find great fulfillment in their relationships and families. Unlike the infantile man – this man approaches a relationship without the cloud of invulnerability born of unprocessed hurt. He fears nothing. as he overcame a heartbreak once, he can always overcome another.

P.S: You can still purchase copies of 88,000 Acres of Bad Shit and Boonies on maktaba.amwadeghu.co.ke Let’s keep this awesome heaven running and alive.

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