Almost all of us have heard a story of a Boda Boda, taxi guy, mjengo guy back home who educated a girl, sometimes up to campus or college level. The thing with these stories is that they never end well. They end with the girl choosing her classmates or people she rather feels are at her level, education wise. The boda, taxi, mjengo guy more often than not usually ends up insane, dysfunctional, or worse, goes on a murder spree. Kills the girl and at times both himself and the girl.
Q: Is it wrong for the girl to wan better dreams, visions, goals and aspirations? Is the guy justified in hoping to wed the girl?
A: The disconnect comes in based on how the two genders think.
Let me start with us men. We think linearly. Such that “if I do A, I will get B, or if I add a one to one I’ll get a two.” Hence, if I educate her, give her a good chance at life, she will see how good I am and marry me. Women are always looking for the best man out there. You can’t fault them. Society told them that it’s best way to survive. It’s a cut throat man eat man out there for them. Survival for the fittest.
I mean, French women had babies with German soldiers who had slaughtered their husbands during the World wars. I digress though. See, there’s no wrong there. She is playing the game as it is. You can’t fault her. The game is the game. Saddest part is, we as guys, we aren’t hip to the game. We don’t know the rules. We play it from a disadvantaged point. We want the world to be ideal such that our efforts and sacrifices should be rewarded. But that is and would never be the game. This type of game is that, older, well resourced, well connected men will always get the beautiful young women. That is life. That’s how it is.
Am I complaining? No. I can’t even if I wanted to. It’s like complaining to the guy residing above in the higher realm that the sun is shining. I’m just stating facts as they are. Stating the game as it is. Is the game shallow? Yes. Can you play it? Probably Yes, if you learnt the rules. Should you be worried if your girlfriend is looking for a better opportunity? No. Just enjoy your time with her. If you want to know more, read about Hypergamy and Monkey Branching. These ideas are present all over the world, just learn the game and use it to your advantage.
I’m I asking the world to change so that I can get to play the game?
Nope. I recognize the game for what it is, head to the training ground and train for it as it is.
None but ourselves can free our minds – Bob Marley.
Educate yourself, be hip to the game, play the players and win. It has never been fair and it never will.