Paradox.

“Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that even he cannot lift it?” These are the types of thoughts you have in your head when you want to escape reality. Your phone rings. It’s your wife calling. She lives back in the village with your three children and your mother. It’s the sixth continuous time that she has called. You wish she could stop calling, but she is your wife, and mother to your kids. You look at it until it stops ringing. Your phone rings again. This time it is your mother calling. You don’t have the energy for whatever they want to tell you. So you pick up.

“Hello.”

“Hello love,” she says. It’s your wife’s voice. You have been played. She knows that you cannot ignore your mother’s calls for long. “You didn’t hear the phone ring? Or your eyes couldn’t see that it was me calling?” She says. Her voice tonation tells you that she is slightly irritated.

“My phone was on silent mode. And the music was loud.” You tell her. Part of it is true part of it is just a scam. You just want her to hit the nail on the head and cut off the niceties. She asks you the normal queries. About your days, why you no longer go home to visit them, work related stuff and how much she misses the city. The city you so much loathe in pleasure.

You ask about her, her well-being, about your kids, their progress, and maybe you will talk to them over the phone. You are always successful in steering the conversation away from you. She asks if you’ll be going back home for the holidays. She then hands the phone to your mother.

“Hello son,” she says. Her voice is vibrant despite the beating it took from the age.

“Hello,” you say.

“Come home soon, your father and I miss you. There are a few things we need to discuss as a family. Your kids also need a father figure around. We are grateful and appreciate that you care for your children and they have never lacked anything in anyway. But they lack your presence.”

You close your eyes, press the phone tightly against your right ear and sigh. You stroke your beard for a while. “You should call more often and speak to your children. Don’t be distant to them.” She says.

“I’ll try and make arrangements so that I can come.” You tell her. But both of you know it’s a bloody lie. You will not go home. You don’t have the strength to face them. To look at them dead in the eyes. It’s a whole circus of time wastage to you. What can you offer to them? Didn’t she gang up with your parents and took you to court for child support? Didn’t they not school you and gave you a certificate of how to become a better parent? So you have nothing to offer them. Not even a smile or a half assed smirk. None at all.

Truth is, you never wanted to marry her. You never knew how she ended up in your bed. A month later she was paged. And your mother took some few uncles of yours and went to her people and made a report. You have always resented them for that. When you decided to live on the phrase of, “everyman of himself.” They slapped you with a court order for child support. You do your duties diligently as the court told you to do so. You did a paternity test to confirm that indeed there was no foul play each time you knew your wife.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you.” Both your mother and wife tell you the same thing.

You hang up and go back to your thoughts. Your veins are visible. You can feel your heart beat a little fast. Your pulse building up with each second at a steady rate. You are drunk. How do you know you have had one too many? When you smile as you pour and swirl your whiskey in that glass, then you down it neat. You will cringe your face for a bit. And you will go back to your earlier thoughts.

“Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that even he cannot lift it?” You try to get an answer for such a paradox but no logical theories come up. The only logical theory that comes up is that you need money. You want money.

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