(Photo Credits: Kilaghai Ben).
Fruits of the forest they said. Humans had been kind enough to tame them. Sweet they were, abit oval. It came in various shades of colours. Green, Dark green and some other colour I wouldn’t know if it’s black or something else. Back then in our high school days, one would get a complete presidential escort unit when you walked in the dining hall with them. You would be called all manner of high names.
“Mkubwa“,”Mzito“,”Le_Presidente” would accompany you. A self boosting confidence to your ego right there. Popularity came in various angles those days. If you were a good dancer you’d be popular and all silly girls would giggle and would want to be around you. Being smartly dressed and smelling nice would get your way up with the ladies.
I was never the ladies man back then. My name was in the hall of fame for all manner of reasons but never women. I loved food. Surface area to volume ratio. I’m a slim shady type of guy. Food was love. Avocados were my aphrodisiac nymph ladies. They were sweet. The orgasm they brought when choosing them in a kiosk was heavenly. Pressing their almost round figures brought pleasure to the fingers. They remind me of a German lady I used to know, perky nipples she had.
Few Years Ago.
Nothing good like when you meet other people who show the same love for avocados. We became instant friends. The seeds were usually disposed off. I liked the young ones. Easy to peel. Damn you can eat them with anything. From githeri, to making sandwiches for beakfast, and any manner of food concoction one would think about. No meal was ever satisfying or complete without an avocado. The whiskey I’d keep at bay, but never avocados.
24th June 2023.
I was a regular customer at a certain kiosk. Mama mboga showered us with a mothers love due toour undying love of the fruits. Everyday she brought fresh produce. A nice daughter she had. One of the many reasons I always frequented the kiosk just to catch a glimpse of her. She had a nice set of white little teeth. Her smile was warming. Her figure would make Cleopatra jealous. Yellow yellow skin she was. Team mafisi always made mama mboga’s kiosk profitable.
Her kiosk was three blocks away from where I lived. Being a bachelor is no easy thing. The trash cans were full of avocado peels, whiskey and cigarette butts. One evening as I was heading to my diggz from works I passed by her kibandaski as it was the norm.
Me: Kwasinda mao? (How’ve you been maam?)
Mama Mboga: Nasinda to mdawana wapo. Kwafuma chaghunyi? ( Been good my son, you from work?)
Me: Heeeh, koko na spinach na makaji? Alafu kuridumbue, sena kuniwikie avocado idadu. (Yes, do you have spinach and potatoes? Kindly chop them for me and also dont forget I need three avocados.)
Mama Mboga: Nakuzereghe kulowe mka na agha malagho gha irikonyi resia putu. ( I told you get a girl and marry her then all your kitchen troubles would be over.)
Me: Wai niwifunya hao nga mao? Nichagha rishoa badae uwu kama dakika mrongo idadu rasia. (Where do I get the women from? I’ll come pick them up after like half an hour.)
Mama Mboga: Wele niaduma Chao urirede. (I’ll send Chao to bring them to your place.)
I left a happy man. Damn, thoughts of having her at my place felt so nice. My heart beamed. I rushed to clean the house and make it look presentable. Why I’m I getting worked up and it’s just a delivery she’ll be doing?
No man cleans a house faster than a ninja expecting female company. Image is presentation right? She was abit late and my stomach was grumbling. I had made some nice roasted steak and some ugali. I had skipped lunch and did few shots of whiskey after work.
A knock on my door startled my thoughts.
Me: Who that be?
Chao: The pretty lady from Mama Mboga.
Me: Just a minute.
I opened the door for her. Gorgeous she was in her nice turquoise blue dress. Daughter of the kiosk owner. She looked good and smelled of lavender.
Me: Welcome In.
Chao: Thank you. Mama sent me to bring you these.
Me: Thanks.Have a sit please.
Chao: Cool. A nice house you have. It’s pretty. Sad that you don’t have a woman to keep it more lively.
Me: Mind whiskey?
Chao: Wine would do fine, if there’s any though. But I wouldn’t stay for long.
Me: Sure. It’s nice having you here.
Chao: Is that “Drodsty Hof?”
Me: Someone knows her choice of liquor well.
Chao: Don’t be deceived by what you see at the kiosk. I try to keep a low profile.
Outside the weather was changing drastically. It was windy. The skies were paged. Anytime they’d be a heavy downpour. Mother nature decided to favour me alot today. Petrichor flavored our nostrils. A rich aroma. Then it fell. Little droplets which graduated into a heavy downpour.
Chao: I can’t go home with such weather.
Me: You can chill until it stops.
Chao: Sure, so long as nothing weird happens.
Me: How did you know I live here?
Chao: I’ve heard you speak over the phone while you’re at the kiosk giving directions to your place anytime you had visitors.
Me: That’s very keen of you. You can add more wine. Let me keep my self busy in the kitchen.
Chao: Let me come help you, and see if you cook good.
Me: I can’t have my cake and it, you know.
Chao: Such a schemer you are.
Me: I’m used to my bachelorhood.
Chao: The veggies have been chopped. I made your work easier. Why avocado’s though?
Me: An avocado’s sweetness is the pure definition of heaven on earth.
Time passed rather quickly. She was a lively soul. A different warm personality she had. Her aura would feel the room and calm the unsettled ones. Chao left as soon as the rains stopped. It wasn’t the first and last time I would be seeing her. Good things come slowly.
Soon it became the norm, I would place an order and Chao would deliver them. Things fell in place after a while. A regular she was. My house had a livelier presence. Damn, she changed the man cave into a habitable place.
The crib looked less than I, and more of her. How did she even move in?
(P.S: One Me Two Hearts will continue next week Saturday.)