October.

 

You lost purpose quietly in the night. Your eyes showed no light nor path paved ahead to your heartstrings. On your own, you picked whatever belongings you had left, a silent rush of thunder could be felt. Their voices pulled you down under, where the murkiness grew darker and the surface of the water became your sky. A whisper stole you away by telling you that you have a few moments left.

In your head, there was no point of fighting anymore. Only to lose the fight towards the cognitive gears that fate had already placed in motion. No point of building something which would only be razed down by the fire. You only visit that place annually. Every time you’d wish to do things differently; yes you do your own stuff differently though the results almost remained the same. You dont have to carry the weight of your sins. You didn’t rise only to cave in. Safety had never been your mantra. You brought forth new life, and you also took away life.

Your deathbed hadn’t been delivered yet but you just don’t feel everything. You don’t want to grow old just to be weary and bleed. Every burden you harbor crushes you down. The smile you normally flashed across was missing. When doubt was gnawing your feet, through the ground. They sealed your lips with silence. No resistance nor a single sound escaped.

You felt alone. You lost control. Panick embraced you. Fear could be seen in your eyes. You sulked whenever you heard mortals cursing your name to the gods. But you were a goddess. Only this time you didn’t bring forth unconditional love that came forth from springing new life. Everything you dreamed of, you let go. You took away life. Your people were burdened with heavy taxes, oppression and mystries that involved the most foul murders ever witnessed in of your kingdoms. Yet you let the perpetrators walk away freely.

Emotionless, the people stopped praying to you. The places of worship became less and less empty. Your shrines no longer recieved visitors nor people who would pray to you for various things. The month dedicated to you which was honored by giving it your name September, was not worthy to them anymore. Without any luck from their prayers, you became weak, more wretched and wicked. You became blind to what you became.

You fell from grace. From the high heavens you plunged down to earth only for you to be washed up on the shoreline.

You chased the city lights. You’re a deity that had taken human shape. You tried blending in so that you would atleast have a little grasp of understanding of what the mortals go through. You sold your voice to the people but nothing changed inside. The angels pushed you away. They got tired of you. Your days had been numbered. You forgot that you were a goddess. You tried to find your purpose in the arms of strangers but you faded. You felt further on your own. You want to go back home.

In fleeting moments of emotions. You went to one of your shrines. You found it empty. Every memory came rushing back to you. Through the highs and lows. You scoured the world for retribution and nothing filled you up like your brother’s love.

In a beautiful surrender – in a bittersweet farewell – it took too long to find the words. Your brother October had always been the hope that you always looked upto. He was all you ever wanted. With him you felt that he could undo all the deeds you ever did. You finally feel alive when you spot his chariot in the sky. It’s time for you to go. You have no strength left within you. You weren’t unbreakable but anything you held became hollow.

You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to go back to whichever place you resided in the high heavens. All of the sinners, all of the saints and in all of the beauty and all of the pain, and in the loss and in the gain. You wont be afraid.

The people are silent and the streets are quiet. You go as silently as you came. Your brother has arrived to relieve you of your duties. With him comes a new lease of life. The life of a party. Great people have been born in the month dedicated towards your brother. You remember how he liked music.

P.s: Happy New Month Everyone.

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