It has been a while. I know it’s a bit lame if I said I had been thinking about you lately. But I would be lying to myself if I said I did not. Of course I do not want to look absurd by blowing up your phone with endless calls and texts. Nope. You figured out that I was not the type to push things after two attempts.
I was riding shotgun earlier on the Note and some song played over the airwaves. It reminded me of you. It made me think of you sitting on the passangers front seat as you held my hand. It reminded me of the late night drives. The endless calls over the phone. How you’d pester me with those early morning calls just to check if I was awake and fully functioning. At times you’d call too early, and I would wonder what happened to your sleep?
Here is to the ones that we got. Memories and Polaroids are the only things I have left of you. I’d raise a glass and toast if you were here. But you’re not. I have in hand a glass of whiskey, and with each sip – it brings back a memory. A memory of what we have been through. And this memory brings back you. At this point I would not take my phone and call. It would be uncouth of me. You would probably say that he is drunk. Nothing sensible would come out of him. But you see sweetheart; that is when the heart is laid bare and the emotions are raw. Hence the truest of intentions are said honestly. It’s that time when the inner demons are left to roam freely.
The only problem with that is the memory blanks. Back then, before you and I drifted apart; I knew no pain. I believed in forever. Had the hope that things would stay the same. Well, things change. They changed. The only due reason was distance. And now each time I think of you, I feel like it’s December.
But November, I can’t just reach out to you. I can’t call nor text. You were always like that distant girlfriend who kept one an inch away from having fun.
We have come a long way this year. We are in the eleventh month of the Gregorian calendar. The bloody year is on it’s final lap. Plenty has happened. Toast to the ones here today. It has been a good run lads. Toast to those we lost on the way. Cause the whiskey brings back all the memories.
There has been both happy and sad times. Perhaps there has been times you felt that everything was just too much to bear. Maybe you felt anger towards certain things and unforeseen circumstances. Things you thought you couldn’t manage and control. You found a way and now the year is almost to an end. Your heart feels like an ember lighting in the dark.
I hope we carry these torches till the end of the line. And I want to keep the flame alive by writing much more beautiful pieces to you.