Matrix of Emotions.

*To her,*

I love you. And I’m pretty sure you’ve known that for a while. It’s not like I’m the most subtle man. Other people figured it out long ago. But I need you to believe that I get it. I couldn’t possibly love you as wildly as I do if I didn’t get it. I also need you to be able to listen to me, as a friend. I need us to be able to have this conversation, at least once.

I know you pretty well and I know that you know me and that we can both take it, so I’m just laying it out there so we understand each other even better and you can trust me to be honest and steadfast.And because I just need to finally say it. I love you. I don’t need to be with you. As much as I want to spend every second near you, eventually I’ll figure out how to love you without wanting more.

I do need you to hear that no matter how much I want you now, I would never let it affect our friendship. I’m ecstatic just to know you. I’ve been around the world and I’ve never met anyone like you. To be honest, I kinda thought maybe it wasn’t in me to feel this crazy level of devotion to someone.It has crossed my mind that I might ask you if I could follow you to your hometown or wherever you end up after all this, just to be near you as a friend.

Does that seem extreme? I want to explore life with you. I don’t need to touch you to feel our spirits riding together. I don’t need to see you every day to feel more at home than I’ve ever felt when I can see you every once in a while.

You aren’t decisive. I know. I can be decisive, and I will, eventually, float to you my interest in following you like a groupie.And then you can get anxious, or laugh at me, or smile sadly, and you know that I will just smile at you.

And I will smile when we say goodbye, because I know it could never be for forever. I know how much brighter my life is than it was before you were in it.

Now that I captured your attention, Boonies and 88,000 Acres of Bad Shit are currently available on Maktaba This is my online bookstore where I’d be selling my merchandise. Promote a brother so that we can keep this space running.

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