Head Above Water.

head above water

I have to keep calm before the storm comes. I don’t want less or more. I just need the doors and windows shut so that I can feel safe.

I hope it finds you well wherever you’re. By the time you’ll be reading this, I’d have gone somewhere. Miles away where you can’t reach me. Probably a new town with strange pubs. I’ll be drinking my favorite drink trying to drown away my sorrows and running away from reality. I will be alone. I won’t be in the mood of entertaining company. I’d be that lonely man who sits alone and drinks his whiskey alone mumbling to himself. It’s a road that I’ve walked frequently. But this time things won’t be about me. I won’t be the one hurting.

After one too many I’ll go to the dance floor and try convince myself that I really don’t have two left feet. I’d dance to all manner of songs. Be it reggae, trance, EDMs, hip hop but I’d love it to be reggae. Because; nobody can stop reggae. I will dance till I feel that the universe and its cosmic energies have aligned and are bent to my whims. Then I’ll go back to my table, order a fresh round of whiskey. And the girl walking around with glass tots and bottles of tequila rose will come across and ask me if I’d want some more. She will make me an insane cocktail. I’d be stupid right there and flirt with her. I’ll end up giving her my business card with the hopes that she’s good in bed as the way she flips the cocktail ingredients.

I will leave my car at the parking lot and hail a cab. I’ll probably wake up with a hangover and I hope it won’t last for long. I have to be okay so that I’m in a good condition to pick my car the following morning.

You’re wondering why I’m telling you this. You’d be trying to rack your brains to have a glimpse on what’s fathomed. I’ll tell you. Relax just be easy.

The first time I saw you we were at some work conference. You were pretty, smart, beautiful and other ninjas were ogling at you. I figured out that I couldn’t have a chance. I left as soon as the meeting ended. During that first meeting I caught you severally staring at me but then you would look away quickly whenever we locked eyes. I could feel that spark and enigma. The power game played through the game of eyes. Establishment of dominance was at hand. You’re a very pretty and busy lady. That I know.

The second time I saw you was at the swimming pool. I realized that there was a soft charm and spot of you. Completely different from the business side of you which was ruthless, head and spot on. You had a mojito waiting for you at the far end as you swam. You were an agile and strong swimmer. I was at the bar side of the pool wondering what I’d use to ruin my liver. Something subtle would have done the trick. Instead I ended up going the none liquor way. When I was done as I stood to leave, you approached me. You’re very calculating and conniving on how I’d respond. I stretched my hand to greet you but instead that you do hugs. There and then you hugged me tight and I got drenched from your wetness. We made small talk and you said you’d want to hang out with me.

Gradually, we began seeing each other and it progressed from being acquainted to more than friends. We were a force to reckon with in our respective work places. With time we quit, and joined forces and we began our own company. I was excited having you as the one, some one with whom I’d share my dreams and visions with. Someone who’d help me realize and achieve them.

With every good story there’s a bad character. I saw flaws, or rather I felt like I was competing with you on everything. You saw the opposite. You thought perhaps I was slacking and lacked a peripheral vision of what you had in mind. It was a turn off for you. I believed in the mantra of, “you scratch my back, I scratch yours.” You believed in survival for the fittest. In your eyes I was weak.

Eventually the fights became full blown. You liked hanging your laundry in public I on the other hand didn’t like having things solved in full view of everyone. You began going out with other guys. Tried to turn the tides but it was a loss. The term whore interim CEO had began catching up. I was getting frustrated. Company resources and funds were being embezzled by your extravagant lifestyle. We suffered lots of liquid shortages. Cash flow income was inadequate. Various banks had refused to lend us money so that we could cushion our liquidation problems. That didn’t deter you at all. You went on further and further down the drain to sustain your lifestyle.

I got fed up love, I pulled out half my stake and sold half the other shares to the public. This infuriated you. You see we were no longer an item. It didn’t matter to me if the company fell apart. At-least, all I fought for was to have the suppliers and our employees get their dues paid.

Do I really miss you? At times I think the silence and distance would serve us good. I stopped communicating all together. The silence became too loud for you and you began reaching out when you realized that you were at the end of your tether. I’d been thinking on telling you how things are so far gone between us then you called.

Her: Hey.

Me: Hey.

Her: How you? I heard you pulled out all of your resources from the company.

Me: Yeah, sure.

Her: Why yet we were business partners.

Me: It was a mistake mixing business with pleasures. Unfortunately I had all of my pockets zipped up. Can’t afford further losses.

Her: We can make a turn around

Me: Sorry sweetheart won’t happen.

That’s how the conversation ended.

I pray to God to help me put my head above water and help me see things with a clear view. Time doesn’t stay in one place and we all have to move on.



One Comment Add yours

  1. Tata says:

    Tony Nyambu

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