I feel it would be better if I had married two wives. Atleast you’d be two. The neighbors have made us a laughing stock for quiet a while now. The love I’ve been pouring. It seems like I’ve been pouring jug fulls of water into the sea. My faith has gone on a down low. I do respect your decisions. But at times I think our youth is fleeting at times. Our parents have been asking for results. You know what results they’re asking about. Yes a child. At least one. If not many.
I’m afraid that you’d marry a second wife. I know the public has been talking. Alot has been going on. Words have been flying in each direction. I think at times if it’s best I flee. But I just can’t. Well, wait. Not yet.
No one would believe the notion that I wouldn’t want to bring forth a child to you. I’m asking from you love that you’d just wait abit for me. Our youthfulness won’t last for long. The love you poured whilst doing our wedding is now fading out. I’ve seen it in your eyes. This parenting thing is abit heavy on me. I hope you do wait abit for me. Give me time to figure things out on my side.
Everyday you keep telling me that I should wait. But for how long would I? I’ve tried my best. Even if it’s a single child. It’s not that I’m not able. You know I’m well on the financial and economical sector. I’ve tried my very best. But it seems we are at our comical nature. I’ve waited, but every day you tell me to wait. I don’t understand anymore. What more I’m I waiting for? I’m growing old. I’d want a child running around the balcony and compound saying, ‘tataa, papaaa, daaaaddyy‘. You don’t want to loose your youthfulness. Your hour glass shape. Everything we’ve had. Your dance queen title would go all in ruins once your belly starts showing up four months later. That would interfere with your life style. We can’t live our lives like as if we living in our yester years.
Abit early, that’s what you always say. But how? When our years are going by. Soon enough I wouldn’t want to be at the age that we’d have to go to every consultant on how to get a child. Why not do it now?
Respect my views kindly. I’m not ready. You putting me under immense pressure. Yes I know it’s been a while. But I feel the time is not yet right. I’d be the one carrying this child. Not you. Only your seeds woule be beneficial at this point. Forgive my rudeness but I hope you understand. I feel it’s a long way down that road. All I ask from you is that you should give me more time. A little bit of time. I know most of the times we have spats, feuds, fights, and many of the times you walk out without giving me time.
Don’t give up on me. Just give me time.
I do respect your views and holdings. But I don’t feel if I can wait for long. Why the long haul? At times I think it’s like I’m forcing my ideals on you. I don’t want things to be at that point. It’s not an easy thing. At times I think I feel like it’s that you don’t want to have a family with me. Why lead me down a path that you’d later back out on? Why say it’s abit early? What is so wrong about parenting. All I understand is that no one ever gets ready about parenting.
Love, one step at a time. We said together and for worse, right?
Then give me a chance. And I’ll bring forth the most beautiful kings and queens this earth has never seen.
Your people shall be my people. And my people will be your people.
I don’t want to be cliché here for a minute. At times you make me forget that I’m not ready for kids and everything. I know it’s a herculean task.