This is a true story. The person wished to remain anonymous. As she narrated various emotions surged through. Hope she finds the peace she truly seeks.
“If you knew the story of my son, his dad, and I, perhaps you would judge me. Maybe you would view me differently.” She says.
She removes a handkerchief from her huge bag and wipes away a tear from her eye. We are sitting in a balcony of some fancy restaurant and bar over looking the road as cars passed below. It was located at a certain popular mall within the city. Traffic was building up around the exit and entrance gates of the mall. The weather was chilly as the evening sky was grey and drab. The sky was pregnant and all hell would break loose if she broke her waters.
I was having a warm Tusker while she was taking her whiskey neat. She toyed with the drink in her glass for a while. Her nails were well polished and nicely manicured. She was the yellow yellow type. The type that would make the sons of Adam to pluck another apple from the tree of knowledge. She was beautiful. She had dimples and her eyes were topaz brown in color. A small gold watch wrested on her wrist. And when she smiled – her smile would have melted the whole South Pole. She was in an elegant royal blue dress that hugged her temple well.
“This is going to be painfully crazy. You sure want to listen to me pour out my story?”
“I have all the time.” I said.
Let us call her Gee. She met her then baby daddy while she was still a freshman in campus. Gee remembers at one point saying that hers was a match made in heaven. She was drawn to him just like the way a kid does with candy. She liked his confidence, his machismo and how he spoke. She had a thing for guys who had a higher intellectual capabilities than her. Her baby daddy was the working class type and had several biasharas of his own. She did not go through the hustles of having to eat those miserable chips at Odeon. In the sixth month of their relationship, he quit his job and started his own firm. His firm picked up well. Business was booming for him. Their relationship was also flourishing at that time. He introduced her to his friends, family, and other acquaintances as “the one.” He normally let Gee accompany him to trips around various cities, to exclusive dinner galas and the likes.
She was smitten in love. Gee could not have imagined a life without him. He was the chief alpha. Gee pegged her loyalty and never undying love to him.
“You know even the sun sets in paradise.” Gee said with a frown. She signaled the waiter to bring her two doubles. Gee got pregnant for him when she was at her second year in campus. Things between them had already started going astray before she knew she was having his baby.
How were things astray?
She went for the pregnancy test at some clinic in town. Far away from privy eyes. The test came out one month positive. By then she had broken up with him cause he was sleeping with his clients. Whenever she’d ask about it, words would be thrown around carelessly. Each word cutting deep into her soul. That day she caught him pants down in his living room. He did not seem to stop nor care. Instead he asked what she was doing there at his place without notice. She saw murder in his eyes. She said that she was sorry and ran off without looking back. Tears clouded her vision as she tried so hard to muffle her sobs.
She was frustrated. The person she thought was her ride or die abandoned her. She was miserable and pregnant. She needed to be in school. She still had her whole future ahead of her. She was scared of talking to him. Gee could not bring herself to tell him that she was having his baby. What was the whole point of it anyway? Would he care?
How would she go home and face her parents? She felt that she failed them. “Shame”, “shame” “shame on you Gee,” she would hear that voice whisper into her ears every now and then. She hated her whole entity.
What did you do?
She packed her things and went home. Things were just to much for her. Grapevine was awash with images of him and another woman. She felt low. She never told him that she was pregnant.
A week later, she was in the kitchen making salad while her mother cooked. Her mother keenly eyed her and told her, “Gee, your breathing is like that of a heavy woman.” She dropped the heavy dish of salad she was carrying. Content splattered on the floor. Then she broke down and cried. She told her mother that she was two months pregnant. Her mother screamed and held her hands akimbo. She was in denial.
“Baba Gee, hebu kuja uone kile mtoto wako ametuletea kutoka university.” Her mother told her father in a sarcastic manner. She says that her father was disappointed in her for a few days. He wore that long far flung look.
At some point she began drinking heavily. Gee was stressed, she rarely slept. She was not going to school and her appetite had deteriorated. Her father noticed the signs and took her for counselling. He told her that everything happens for a reason. Everyone makes mistakes and falls sometimes. Getting pregnant was not the end of life. After that visit to the counselor, her parents were very supportive of her.
Gee found her footings again. With the support of her parents she had enough courage to face her demons head on.
All this while as she was telling me her story, she was emotional, and a bit volatile. Time to time we had to pause in order for her to catch her breathe or take a break if she felt her emotions were allover the place.
As days went by her belly also started growing and was visible. One sunny afternoon as she was running her own errands in town, she bumped into him at a certain supermarket. He was shocked. She just walked away without a single Hi. She felt rage and anger towards him. He began following up from friends. He wanted to know who had made her pregnant and if she had someone else.
The Twist, Agony, and Pain.
“Do you know the pain of getting out of the labour room?”
She was in labour pains for fourteen good hours and when she finally gave birth she had not fully regained consciousness. She bore a son. She remembers that she was being wheeled out of the labour room to the ward she opened her eyes and saw him standing there with his lawyers and papers.
“He gained custody once you delivered?”
“Isn’t that against the law?”
“Shouldn’t the child be with the mother until he/she is of legal age?” I asked her rather a bit bewildered.
She said money has a way of talking in Kenya. She had no option. She did not have the money to raise legal fees. Her family did not have the energy to endure the long gruel-some court battles.
How do they co-parent?
Gee only talks to the father of her son whenever she needs to pick her son up or speak to him.
“You guys never tried to make things work or get intimate?” I asked her.
She says that on several occasions he tried patching things up. But the pain in her could not allow her to do so. She was still furious with how he handled the custody matters. She says in those early days it was hard. She was tempted to call him, and tell him that she needed him back. The pain never allowed her to do so.
“What made you move on or gave you strength?”
“I had to let go of him and accept things happened the way they were. I had to clear the away the tears from eyes and pain in my heart so that I could see light at the end of the tunnel.” Gee says.
It was time for both of us to leave lest the skies break her waters on us.