(Nesh, Aquinos, Shinsky, Marion, Kelly, Rizzy, Baba Candice, Sidney, Kazungu, Eve, Audrey, AMG-Ron, Mother, I wouldn’t take these baby steps without you. I really do appreciate alot for every push you’ve given me).

9th April.

Aga Khan Hospital – Mombasa.

Waking up in a hospital is no fun. The migraines, aaaah fuck they’ve become frequent oflate. Voices in my head never seem to disappear. At some point I’d just constantly gaze into space and my mind goes blank. A freaking memory blank. Too much of late. I don’t remember things.

Yesterday Evening.


My phone buzzes. The fuck is this now?

Aminatta: Hey love. I’ve almost reached but my phone is low on charge.

Me: Ok. Cool. Just call when you reach.

Aminatta: Don’t drink too much.

Phone hangs up.

Aminatta is one beautiful lady. She wants a kid with me. Hell not one! But three freaking kids. On my side I just want to screw the hell out of her brains. Without getting her pregnant of course. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

Last night I headed to link up with my pal. So I give him a call.

Me: Rodney you guuuuuuuy. Long time bana.

Rodney: Been a while msee. You coming we check the ass n holes team being flanked?

Me: Atta boy. Right on my way. Just ping me the location.

Rodney: Smarta. Will get vodoski on the rocks.

Me: I’m more of a whiskey person. But sawa anything is okay.

Rodney: Smarta. Blackwaters is the place.

I hung up.

I grab the car keys from the table. Maaaaaaan,……. I’ll have to clean the table when ii come back. It is dusty. Noticeable dusty. I hug mother and leave. I start the car. The engine revs up rather idly. This car has been on one spot for a while.


Finds me rather idle. Been wanting to drink for a while. Tonight I’m getting drunk and perhaps getting laid. Having Blue balls isn’t fun when the missus is not around. I have been eyeing this hindu chilles. They might be call girls but I don’t mind either.

I reverse from the parking lot and head out. Feels good, especially having a full tank. I should hoon perhaps.Hoot senselessly like a matatu driver maybe? I shift the gears quite fast. I do quick and fast fixes. I hate slow cars. They say gari ni dereva right??


Jaaaaaam. Ah fuck. Should’ve taken the long route. The game is about to start. For the first time I have a tingly feeling. The feeling which comes after you’ve hammered your liver silly, and you can hear telephones ringing in your ears. I see droplets. Crystal red to be precise. Heck! I’m nose bleeding. Shit. Did it have to be at this time? I’ve quite never known the procedure nor the first aid for such. I might be a bit ignorant. Such shit scares the hell out of me.
The traffic easens up and my condition worsens. Every car seems to zoom off past. I feel drowsy. Very. Lights seem to flicker on and off. My vision is slightly blurred. I manage to drive on. I can’t afford to doze on the wheel. It’s a sin.


Everything seems normal. My system behaves. I try to call Rodney.

Me: Yow, mguys! Where thee at?

Rodney: Took thyself for baptism at blackwaters. You sure are an African timer.

Me: See the black Subru flickering lights?

Rodney: You and entrances, banaaaa, nmeshindwa nani anagurumisha hio kitu ivo!!!

Me: Sawa acha niingie.



The times are getting hard but ninjas still getting,…………….

Blackwaters, the place where miracles and buffoonery trade places. A yard where you can find mzingastes at a reasonable price. And the big screens. Omera when i say big. It is jakanese biiiiiiig. The waiters are lovely. I’ve never understood this chemistry. It is havana for those who are mindful and considerate of prices.

Me: Mjamaaaaa

Rodney: Aaaaaaah, si fiti. Niaje hatujagongana ivi bana.

Me: Life happens.

Rodney: Itisha glass tuendelee na ka hunters ivi.

Me: Ata kwa ndai nko na ki famous ivi.

Rodney: Famous five the book??

Me: Hahaha, eaze, the grouse.

Rodney: So how’s the writing journey?

Me: Can’t complain.

Rodney: Good good. Pewa glass


Been a while since I did Hunters Choice. Kindly thee do not condemn me for my choice of liquor. Aminatta hasn’t been picking my calls either. Nope she’s mteja. Anyway I’ll just chill with Rodney then go off looking for some Indian whores. Yes I said whores. The whiskey keeps flowing. Music blaring well and good. Their DJ is really ontop of his game. What a way to start the night. Ass’n’hole team won. Much to my dismay. Yaani bet imeungua ivo tu!

Another reason to drink. I’m constantly checking my phone. No notifications from her. It’s kind of frustrating. I hate women problems. Regarding the fact that they stand up dudes like us.
A second mzingastes (750ml bottle) lands on the table. First one died rather foolishly. I can’t drink and drive. I don’t want to end up in some ditch like some guy. Neither would I want to be that guy who neighbors complain about terrorism. In such a manner driving fast around within the estate with your brrrrrr, prtaaaaaa taaaatataaaa sounds of your anti lag exhaust piercing the air at ungodly hours.



No call from Aminatta yet.

Rodney: Other formations apart from your girl showing up?

Me: Not quite really. If she doesn’t show up we can change clubs. Perhaps try Mtwapa and see.

Rodney: Nice plot by the way. Been ages.
We finish our drinks then head to where I parked the car. My nose feels tingly. All roads to sin city. The car warms up and purs gently. A beast it is. Some people die doing what they love.


New Malindi Road.

I’m busy speeding up, shifting gears and the momentum increases. The turbo is alive and well. What’s the point of having a Subaru if it ain’t turbo charged. Bullocks. Buy an NZE for heaven’s sake.

Rodney: You okay man?

Me: Sure.

Rodney: You’ve got droplets on your shirt.

Me: You got to be kidding.

Rodney: Not kidding bro.

Bloody nose decides to mess up on a Sunday of all days. Blood is freely flowing. I feel numb. Could it be that my nerves are giving up on me? I can’t feel shit. The speed limit is on the higher side. Nope. Not tonight. Won’t crash. I don’t want to be another government statistic. I slow the car down and park it by the roadside. Hazards flickering. Nausea sickens me. Rodney try to assess the situation. No avail. I can’t find my phone. I need to call someone. Mother perhaps. Sister won’t pick. She never does when I’m drowning my liver silly. I dislike such situations. I’m trying to keep the lights in my eyes on.
I get out of the car and frantically wave for any car to stop and help. My hands are trembling. My body seems to be deserting me. Everything seems not ok. Rodney rushes to a near by hospital to get an ambulance.


Here I am.

Sitting by the roadside. Back slanted on the right rear tire. I fish out a cigarette and try to light up. Old habits do die hard. My nose bleeds stopped. I have a broken nose. Twice within the week I fainted. Seeked medical attention? Yes.
I can’t even light a stick. Sucks. The sun, sand and the sea all seem a distant dream to me.

Aminatta, I’ve been trying to get to you. I looked for love in every stranger, took too much whiskey to eaze the hunger. Yes, just because of you.

I’d rather lose a lover than love a loser.




One Comment Add yours

  1. Hummie Rey says:

    Man you doing great

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