Previously on 88,000 Acres of Bad Shit.


Last Sunday was an unusual one. I had a few church members join us for a luncheon in my house. Mother and Nneka had both been busy in the kitchen for the better part of the day. Ophelia on the other hand had a good way of interacting with people. It was an unusual side of her I saw for the very first time. I was pleased that the little endless squabbles had quietened for a day. I was happy of such developments. If the ways of the world wouldn’t change on how my marriage and relationship with mother would work, perhaps the guy above would let me in on a few tips of divine intervention.

Mother was still shocked on my new found path – religion. It’d take a while before I convinced her that it would keep me sane. Nneka sulked privately cause she had too much work in the kitchen. But – Alas, I only thought that prayers would be the only way that would change our family. But a part of me longed to visit the beautiful psychologist. I never got the chance to call her after I was done with the hospital stint. I wonder what she’d think if I called her after a long spell of silence. It’s been months.

Monday passed rather quickly, it was filled up with business meetings and analyzing various reports from different departments. I was tasked on creating a suitable artificial intelligence system that would balance the company’s business module and enhance better feedback from our clients through the use of a user friendly interface. It was a herculean task regarding that most of my guys from our department were out in the field. There was no way I’d manoeuvre through this. I had to sit and rack my nerves to work through it. It was quite tiresome. In the evening when I went home, I found out that mother had already left and went back to the village to seek the assistance of some “doctor” to try and see who had bewitched me. Most times I had to coax her to go back home. It was much of a relief. Ophelia was working on her school project. Nneka on the other hand was working on her work related issues. It would be a cold night without a single touch of warmth.

It was nice knowing that they weren’t at each others throats as it was the norm. Or perhaps it was a displayed show of affection? I didn’t want to inquire any further. I was at peace with the calmness that had come into my house as a guest. I hope it would stay for long or rather forever.

Tuesday morning was rather dull, the sky was full of grey clouds, I was still contemplating on calling Dr. Artemina. Images of her and me while at the hospital flashed vividly. There was a part of her I wanted to know. I paced around for a while before picking up the receiver and dialed her numbers. The beep tuuu tuuu tuuu sound rang in my ears for a while before it went to voicemail. “This is Artemina Miles, if you don’t find me you know what to do, please leave a message.” Her prerecorded voice rang through my ears. The African in me hanged up. I dialed again and got the same response. This second time I didn’t hang up. Instead I left a voice note inquiring if I could book an appointment with her. Why the heck was I going for a psychological appointment? Was it because I needed someone to talk to? Or was it because that I was intrigued by her beauty? I didn’t have the answers at that. I was only hoping that I’d see her again. Only this time circumstances would be on a professional level. I’d have to zip my pants up. Lord help me on this.

The good Lord decided to let the heaven’s smile upon me that Tuesday afternoon when my secretary informed me that there was a certain female on the end of the line who had wished to speak to me urgently.

Akala: Hello

Her: Hello Akala Kudzu. I’m Artemina Miles. I was your psychologist for a short stint when you had been admitted at the Regalia Memorial Hospital. How’s your health fairing on in all aspects?

Akala: I’ve been good, can’t complain. It’s been months now, I’m making slow strides rather on my other issues. But all in all I’m thankful.

Her: I got your request that you had wanted to book an appointment. My office is open from 0900 hrs to 1600 hrs every weekday and on Saturdays from 0800 hrs to 1300 hrs. Sundays and Public holidays we don’t normally open.

Akala: Sure, I’d like a Friday appointment at 1100 hrs.

Her: Sure, done deal. It’s nice hearing from you for a long time.

Akala: I’m intrigued doctor. I wonder how things would be this time regarding that I’d be coming to your lair.

Her: Enough with the riddles Akala. I’m looking forward to seeing how far you’ve progressed.

She hang up after that.

I was looking forward to Friday on having my first appointment with the doctor.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Amwadeghu says:

    There’s more to that

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