a,b = b,a

“Young man at the back, can you come to the board and swap the integers without using an additional variable?” Professor Nutinge’s voice boomed as he motioned me to go in front of the class. Clearly my mind had been adrift for a while not paying any attention to the ongoing surroundings of the class.

“Sure, sure.” I told him. I got up slowly from my seat and dragged my feet to the board. All eyes were on me as I could silent remarks and jeers on how absent minded I was in this programming class.

“Any language?” I asked.

Prof gave me a hard cold stare. I could see he was agitated and that his left eyelid twitched a little bit. He abated his cold stare for a millisecond as he pondered on my lack of concern and luster. He composed himself and asked me to look at the board. He said that Primrose had done it using C programming language. Primrose had a neat handwriting, while I on the other hand scribbled like a quack.

a = a + b;

b = a – b;

a = a – b;

“Use whichever language you’d want.”

“Sure prof.”

a,b = b,a

The whole class was shocked.

“Dude which language is that?” A certain female voice asked.


And I was done. I honestly wanted to go back to my seat and go back down memory lane. The whole class was quiet as I made my procession down back to my seat. I presumed my position and my eyes were on the board. My mind drifted back to the time when all I saw were Ella’s heaving breasts and my eyes instead focusing on Prof’s teachings they wandered into one of the most nonintellectual, non-civilized, unsuccessful sexual fantasies. That was about eleven years ago early April when I was still a virgin and so was she. But none of us is anymore I think. I might be virgin at heart and spirit.

Ella was not any just any Mary, Jane, Caro random estate girl. She was well mannered and her likes would not be found in the leagues of Brian, John and Peter. She was pretty and gorgeous. In fact the most beautiful girl I had seen in my entire young life at that moment. None rivaled her. She was very sophisticated and choosy when it came to her taste of friends. Friends who were way above my league. Those friends most likely hovered around and tried their chances to see whether if she’d accept their “more than just a friend vibe.” Most of those potential lovers called her Aphrodite for her beauty was unmatched. Whenever I called her sweet pet names she normally responded with sneers and other disapproval methods and warnings. I had learned to control this irresistible emotional bursts that occasionally happened when I was in public places. Such embarrassments should it have occurred would have dented my young masculine ego. I just called her ‘bestie’ in which she never said a word at all. Maybe a smirk which was really hard to fathom because it was difficult to interpret as a bloody warning, friendly fire, or an approval.

Most days were laden spent slaving away precious man hours trying to impress Ella. My efforts were kind of expected rather than appreciated. Some memories escaped through some form of dementia, but there is one which failed to delete. Whichever case of sleeping pills and amnesia one would use, this one was like a kaiju it just couldn’t go away. It was on the 18th of May of a certain year; a very cold rainy Saturday afternoon and it seemed that a game was about to be played and I was the bait. The rains began when I was on my way home from the shops which were at the farthest end of the estate. I lived on the other end. Traversing a cool three kilometer to and fro. I normally did not mind the distance. Ella’s house was near the shops and there was no way that rain would beat me. I did not want to get home drenched.

I ran and went and knocked at their door. I was an uninvited guest and unwelcome. To be fair to both of us, the rains led me to her. Despite her mean nature, treatment and resentment towards me on this occasion she was in an okay mood to let me in. Well, it came with several dictatorial instructions. I should stand two and a half meters away from her and face the other direction during the length of my unexpected visit until the rains pass. I could also not go beyond the doorway

It presented me an opportunity to think outside of the box. The first time I opened my the depths of my chest and revealed my heart to a lady.

Ella, despite your meanness,and all the hatred shenanigans you always say about me, I have been feeling some type of way towards you. I do not know why I have to feel like a jerk whenever I’m around you. I came hear to shelter myself from the rain. I hope the rains don’t take long so that I can be on my way home. I’m,……..” I never finished my last sentence I was hit by that shaft on my head that is used to roll chapatis. This followed by her banging the door behind me.

“Go get rained on you ungrateful animal.” She shouted.

“That went well,” is what I told my inner spirit. I consoled myself by saying that there was a first time for everything. I should have just kept quiet. Now I was walking home getting soaked in the rain while I was nursing my head which already had formed an obnoxious swelling. I tried to think that perhaps she was playing hard to get. Everyone knew Ella was too beautiful for a man not to want nor lust for. I still was perplexed -(been wanting to use this for a while) on how she found it an oddity that I should love her. Her pimple free face was the most charming thing I ever came close to. Her face was flawless and devoid of those things which arrested the rest of us when puberty hit. She had dimples on both cheeks. Her smile, her square white milky teeth, her well curved legs and hips gave me lots of unending desires.

Even a cherubim would fall down for her. Her sexy silky voice from time to time mesmerized Professor Nutinge as she often caught him gawking at her from the corner of her eyes. I always dreamed of touching her but that did not go beyond the comforts of my mind. It was God’s own version of perfection in an arrogant manner. All this was in addition to the numerous fetishes that I had. The thought of Ella and her features killed me everyday after that day she hit me with a chapati rolling stick. I still wander if she was too shy to give in, or if I was at the wrong time and wrong place.

In my most unholy imaginations, I never had the thought of toying around with her. I assumed that I was in love and that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her. She heard none of it, whether she frowned or if she was happy. It really did not matter. All the same I emphasized with each passing minute thinking of me and her.

I found other ways to try and communicate with her. I tried telepathy, quantum ways, kinetic fluid movements – but all failed. The good thing was that all the male species tried and failed miserably. You see, misery loves company. It is better to swim in misery in huge numbers rather than swim alone. My classmates never knew I was in a much more worse situation than them. Of course I could not speak of my humiliating demise.

What we did not know was that Ella’s undoing was that she had an unholy allegiance and admiration for any one who was intelligent. Her morals and standards would be thrown to the wind for any one who challenged her intellectually. This single fact made her so vulnerable to anyone who was intelligent. Principles would be compromised and the challenger would be rewarded with anything that was in line with the sages.

Looking back, I came to the realization that I was a bit shallow minded and my not so well academic scripts often seemed to prove that. I would be burdened with endless hours of extra tuition which never made matters good. I was disqualified even before I could make any moves. In academical matters I never understood much when I was young, and the little I could manage I did not master it well. This explains why she felt nauseated whenever she saw me, or when I shot my hand up to give an irrelevant answer. ‘

Ella had a passion for wisdom from all aspects of interests. I was not quiet shocked by the disliking the prof had towards me. We both knew that any time he would open his mouth to instruct us he would give the most difficult assignments. He knew that his faithful servant would come for guidance and divine knowledge intervention. The prof went into a sermon each time Ella visited her.

But why did God have to create such a beautiful creature, bring her to my school, put her in the same bloody class as I during our elementary years, then repeated the mistake during our campus years?? That answer always evaded me. Years have passed now. Prof was our principle during our elementary school years. I thought I’d avoid the two only to find myself with them during my campus years. They were surprised that I took a course that only the strong could survive.

My mind wanders back to class. The lesson is already on its death bed. My phone vibrates and a message pops up.

Would you mind teaching me python during your free time? I’m intrigued by your knowledge. ~Ella~” I never knew that she had my number. After so many years. Why is she interested in pythons? Maybe human pythons perhaps? Only heavens know. I did not want to be the baboon in the bananas council.

As soon as the class ended I took my bag and leisurely walked out of the class. I did not want to become a slave to the system. There’s more to life.

The password to my knowledge isn’t 1234.

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