Life has been a wrecking ball the past few days. Things haven’t been easy neither to you nor to your mother and the extended family. Grief, sorrow and hurt have been the feelings lately. You miss someone terribly. Well they are two people whom you wish you’d see again but circumstances wouldn’t let you. You shudder whenever you see a vehicle. You are afraid to board any means of transport. You keep staring at the ceiling and ask God for questions. Why did he let it happen? Why did you have to be the one surviving?
A brother you lost. So young of age. He was only six. Your grandmother too left and went to heaven. You woke up in a hospital with a broken leg, couple of injuries and body pains. You cried your heart out to it’s content. At times you wonder why did this have to happen to you at such an early tender age?
Life had began becoming a bed of roses; your mummy had a new job, built a new house and took you guys to the most precious school back in your country. Jermaine was growing up fast. Only to be robbed off by an accident. You remembered that morning perfectly. Jaja (Grandma) had offered to take you guys to school on that ill fated morning. I’m sure you said goodbye to your mother before she left for work.
An hour later she was told that her mother and son both died in the car crash. You were in a critical condition. She was devastated. It was heart breaking. One disaster after the other. After undergoing a painful separation process with your father, she had to move back with you guys to her mother country. When the darkness seemed to be finally turning into a new dawn; life decides to be bitchy again.
It’s hard for you cause you couldn’t attend both your brother’s and jaja’s funeral. You were fighting for your life. You had to go for reconstructive surgery to enable you to walk again. It would take a while for you to recover.
As I’m writing this, I’m heading back home. It’s been quiet difficult for me to try and process all these news. But I’m here to tell you that there’s hope despite all this gloom and darkness. You still have a life to live on. At only ten, your mother still needs you alot. Be strong, get well soon, hold on tight to her. You’re the last line of defense to her. She only has you. She held you dear since the time I knew you guys. I know I’m the care free type of uncle. Well, this shook me to the core. For various moments I couldn’t put my self in your shoes. Losing one person is difficult enough, but two?? Daaaamnnn way beyond I could handle.
If you’re going through some difficulties Stephanie, talk to someone. It can be any one. Don’t harbor any feelings that would cause depression. It’s okay to cry. The loss won’t fade in a day. It’s okay to have a shoulder to lean on. It’s okay to have those moments of weaknesses. It’s okay to breakdown from time to time. We can never replace them, but we can hold the good memories and cherish them. Hoping that the guy above the clouds has offered them a nice place to stay.
Be kind to people. Judge them from their actions but not from hearsay. Emotions are fleeting, think things through and choose your words carefully. Even if you’re still a girl, you’re a woman in every sense of actions and words.
I’m hoping that you’d be out of the bloody hospital bed soon. I’d want to see a bubbly Stephanie full of laughter and smiles. It’d take a while. The journey to the top of the mountain begins with a single step. I pray for strength and courage so that you’d over come this. It’d feel lonely the first few months or weeks. People would tell you that you have to move on. It takes time, you will eventually.
It’s been tough for you. I don’t know how I can even put it in words. No amount of sorries would ever bring them back. But be strong for your daughter. She needs you alot. Assure her that everything would be alright. God works everything for a reason. I’m not much of a church person; though at such times I put my faith in him in whatever little belief I have left. I hope she walks again. It’d be our joy that she’s up and running.
My sister hasn’t gotten over Jermaine’s death yet. It all came as a huge shock to her. She has been on some sort of trans from time to time. We all feel sorry. We do keep you in our prayers. Mother has a whole bunch of words to tell you. They’d both call you at their own time.
God had a reason, that’s what they’d say. I don’t know what reasons he had but he didn’t deserve it. I’d say I’m still in denial. Death has never been an easy thing. But it shall be well. That’s all I can say.
I’m running out of words, my thoughts are scrambled, the sun has shifted it’s position. I’m a few hundred kilometres away from home. I just hope that I reach a little bit early and take my mind off everything.
Rest In Peace Jermaine and Jaja. Till we meet Again. Forever In Our Hearts.