I alight from a matatu in Rongai. I’m going home. Atleast that is what i usually thought after a long day at work. There she was, she’d open the gate, hug and kiss me. Ask how my day was. Yeap that was the cycle atleast. I don’t know if I can call it happy but atleast I was contented. Yes good food, good sex, and yes she rides good. Everything seemed okay. It was us against the world. I got so much absorbed into her. With no time, everything revolved around her.

Today I’m not in the mood for good food and good sex. Whiskey. My throat and tongue had been burning for that bitter sweet liquor. Heck it was always bitter. Yes the club across the road “Legend” was full to the brim as always. It’s a Wednesday. Yes, my offs usually came in fours. I reach home. She opens the gate. Yes today she is a little bit moody. She was in some huge t-shirt of mine and I could fill her nipples wanting to rip and explode. They were firm and erect. Why her titties so erect 247?. She had no pants beneath. Then she whispers hoarsely, “Babe, no touching, take me from behind right here.” I am quite perplexed. Yes and the neighbors. Fucking little cunts who listen to your every love session making. I told her I’d do it by the staircase. But I know it was a lie. Nope, today is that night. I want to get high.

Yes I live through my lie. She is quite disappointed. I tell her to get dressed for I feel like we should go clubbing. Yes. I had missed the noise, the sight of beautiful women smoking sheesha. The shenanigans of a bouncer trying to yank off an under aged school boy. Yes, i missed the lovely bartender with an Ethiopian look and accent. Yes she knew i was her number one client. But not today. I just wanted to drink. And drown in my own sorrows.


She gets all worked up and creates a fuss. But here I was heading to the bar, no shower, no food just me as I was in the morning when I walked out. Noise coming from all corners of the bar. Women half-nakedly dressed, men with sagging trousers trying to get a girldem to chipo for the night. Credit must be given to the boy child for trying. I go to the counter pull a chair, seat.

Bartender: “You abit late today.”

Me: “Work been tight.”

Bartender: “What should I Get You.”

Me: “Half Smirnoff Vodka would do.

With Ginger Ale.”

Yes I was raving mad. Albeit because of my hunger pangs. But no problem the worms will get burnt by all the amounts of vodka i have been drowning myself in.I hear a voice whispering hoarsely in my ear. “Mind joining me at the balcony?”, Yes. I froze abit. My missus doesn’t smoke. This lady looked gorgeous. She had stilettos. Not the ones from Brazzers. A nice little black dress which showed her cleavage. Her hair was silky and braided. Yes and complexion was chocolate in color. Which reminds me of cadbury chocolates.

“I’m Nasra.” She says. She stretches her hand. It had a pretty detailed tattoo.

“I have been a huge fan of your bus and trucks simulator games.” She continues.

Nasra: “Will you join me”?

Me: ” I’m just fine here.”

Nasra: “Well Immah join you then.”

Me: “I wouldn’t mind, but i mostly prefer my own company.”

Nasra: “Stop being a jackass Rodnie.”

How the effery in this world did she know my name? Just I was in thought for a moment.

Nasra: “I did my research well”.

Off she scampers to the balcony and comes back with another bottle of vodka. So she suggested we seat at a table. Told her I was just fine by the counter. Asked if I could dance. Well i had two left feet. There was no way on this earth I’d embarass myself.

So we decided to toast to anything.

Her: “To a gamers life.”

Me: “To a truckers life.”

Her: “To many more.”

Me: “To the very best and worst.”

After many shots. My stomach couldn’t take any more. So i decided to order food.


Here I am all pretty excited and wasted. Yeah I was sure on autopilot mode. Yes I talked about everything she needed to know. It was quite enticing to find such a piece of marvel who understands techworld, gaming, and more of virtual reality. Most beauty doesn’t come with brains. That’s what they said.

Nasra was a whole new level. She asked why i was quite the saddist. And i told her only few people understand sarcasm. The rest would just catch the element of feeliums. She was seated on my lap. Damn felt good. She kissed me, then she fished out a cigarette. All that time i hadn’t noticed her black smokers lips. She took a long drag, then whiffed it out.

Her: “You smoke”?

Me: ” Occasionally”,

She fishes out another cigarette and hands it over to me.

Her: “Shouldn’t we just buy a truck and just go somewhere far”?

Her: “Leave Rongai and its dusty madness. I for sure I’m tired leaving this way.”

Me: “Then head where”?, ” You have a Truck”?

Her: “Well sure I Do, But i need a driver who can maintain us both cuties.”

“Sure you can give me a test drive”? Was that an open sexual invitation?


I’m staggering home with a stranger. Nope that is not the direction home. How i got sausage fungwaad really doesnt matter. All i knew was that in these wee hours I’m gonna bone her.


We finally at her place. Thou it does not seem organized. Yes we kissed, grabbed each other. We were drunk, burning with lust. Jeez, I’m such a lustful bastard. I couldn’t wait to reach the bed. I always believed that bed sex was the worst sex. Yes we had it right there by her door.

Not once not twice. I couldn’t give a fuck if the neighbors were watching. I’d give them a free show perhaps. A standing ovation perhaps? Maybe I’d win an Oscar just like that.


Bloody phone buzz brings me back to life. Jeez i reek of alcohol. Fuck! Ok, this is not the ceiling I’m used to waking up to. Yes then I see her.

Damn phone rings again.

Me: ” Hello”?

Caretaker: “Kuja haraka!”

Me: “Ni nani?”

Caretaker: “Ni Ruth! Madam wako amemeza tembe mingi na hapumui.”

Me: “Sawa, On my way.”

I put my clothes on and leave Nasra’s place. And take the next bike to my place. I was looking horrible. Many thoughts. Why did the missus pop pills?? Yes, everything was in a total mess. No answers, there she was looking unconscious lying on the floor. Besides her was a note written.

“Dear Love,

I don’t know why i did this. But felt i couldn’t live without you.I couldn’t continue in such suffering manner. I’m sorry. Forgive me.

Hahaha, surprise motherfucker. Happy April fools.”

Then she rose from her unconscious stupor burst out laughing. The caretaker rolled on the floor letting out a huge howl of laughter.

Yap. I had been fooled. It was the first prank pulled on me on fools day and I looked like some Port Hacourt Dumbass.






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