Uncertainty

The room they gave me had a picturesque view of the beach below. It had a large bed, a medium sized desk, and large windows that led to the balcony. Curtains were half way drawn to let the light in. It was almost noon. The light almost made me blind for a mini second. Albeit a bit too strong for my heavy sunken eyes. She lay there on the bed, sheets half covering her torso. She looked beautiful in that entangled mess. The previous night was a hard and heavy whiskey ladened one. My mind was still processing the past night’s events as I walked towards the balcony.

I didn’t hear her rouse from her sleep nor her walking towards me. I was lost in thoughts. I let my mind wander as I absorbed everything in. The view, the breeze, the tinge of saline in the air.

“Here’s your glass of whiskey.”

“Thanks.”

“I can’t believe I have to be back at work on Tuesday.” She said.

“Yes, short lived. Probably you’d have wanted this to go on for a little while.”

“Don’t you want this?” She asked.

“A step at a time.” I said.

“To the moment at hand,” she said.

Glasses clinked. She had pretty hazel eyes. Gorgeous was an understatement. Besides all the beauty, she had a good head above her shoulders. Talk of beauty with brains.

1400 Hrs, strolling somewhere a long the beach,

The tide had gone out. We walked side by side or rather hand in hand. I have never been big on the PDA stuff. At times she would run ahead and pick shells, a colorful fish that had been washed abit too far inland, or rather beckon me to take a picture of her standing on some coral reef. It felt nice feeling the breeze, while having someone next to you.

But truth was I knew once we checked out of the hotel and I got into that car; I’d go back to my drifting ways. I don’t want to get caught up in an entanglement. I was a bit concerned on how close she was getting to me emotionally. I was not ready to begin another relationship.

1800 Hrs, (Dinner on a dhow)

“That straw hat looks good on you.”

“Arigatogozaimas.”

“Plus the floral Hawaiian shirt my guy, makes you look like some tourist from Medellin.”

“Haha, really now?”

“Yes sir,”

“The evening sundress looks stunning on you too. It hugs all the right places well.”

Her cheeks glow red for a moment. She shies and looks away for a moment. The hotel we were booked had a package that included dinner on a dhow as we went around the archipelago being shown different islands. They served different sea foods. I marveled at how the sun looked big, displaying various shades of colors from orange, lilac, to various shades of pink.
The best part of the show was when some Arabian ladies did some belly dancing. Of course they were fine thank you. Their saris flowed with the wind like the dancers that pop out of nowhere from a Bollywood movie.

2200 Hrs

“I like every moment I spend with you.” She says.

“The feeling is mutual.”

“But I know once we both get to our destinations tomorrow you’d go back to your default ways. It would be good if you reached out once in a while.”

“I’ll try to.”

“That’s what you usually say but you never follow up. I’d want to mouth the words that I love you but I refrain myself every time. I know you love someone who loves someone else and that someone else loves another one. A long chain of command. But at times you act like you stopped believing in love. Or perhaps that your hear retired on all of these love issues.”

“At times we burden the heart with too much unnecessary issues yet it’s not a machine. For now I just want to be one with the sun, sand, and the ocean.”

“Do you believe in love?”

“Yes. It exists. They’re good people out there.”

“Don’t you think you’re a good person?”

“At times I think I’m too set in my own ways.”

“Give it a chance and let it blossom. Even cast away seeds grow a long weary beaten path.” She then pressed her lips across mine.

The following day.

We checked out of the hotel on time. She took a flight back to Zanzibar while I headed back towards Mombasa. It’s a bit funny how I didn’t look back when I got into the car after her plane left. The distance wouldn’t just work out for me. Someday she’ll understand. We’ll both go to our different beds and with time forget that her favorite spot was when she lay on my chest. We had plenty of pictures taken. A moment that she can savor.

Her:

It was a great time I spent with you. Every moment was worth it. I know I can handle the pain. The pain of you going Mia, I’ll know when it’s over. I truly appreciate you for making time to come and see me. But until the day reaches, I will write sad songs. I’ll hold on to the very thought and essence of you. Truth is I still sleep in your favorite tee. I still listen to those stupid songs that you truly like. The ones that you would play on the balcony at 1a.m. Memories do creep in. I do look at the pictures every now and then. But you know what, I’d give you a call. I truly hope you’ll pick.

Friday Evening,…

I’m on my way home. Fatigued from having those dreadful evening classes after a long day of kujenga nchi. Lord knows I’d rather prefer the online ones. Sigh. But we both know I’d end up on Animekisa’s homepage looking for new anime. Somewhere in between home, mahali naezafungua kichwa kidogo tu before I make my arrival.

My phone rings. It’s a strange number.

“Hello,” I say.

“Hello, I looked at the pictures we last took when we had that sunset dhow ride, it made me think of you.”

I recognized her voice and the enthusiasm it had. I could tell she was excited.

“That’s nice,” I say.

“Don’t you think a little bit of hiking is good for us to get a little bit naughty?” She asks.

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